~painkillerzane

I don't know why I am doing this..

Well To give a slight update as to the condition of my life...

I had a job that was supposed to be mine, it was given to some other twit while my boss was on vacation.

My brother, Well...Blood could not make us stronger..

I have known this kid for 8 years, we have had our ups..and downs.. as does everyone right? I adopted him as my brother and vice-versa .. He has a heart condition..and.. I might lose him.

All of you that know me, know without a doubt how strong I am mentally and that my will cracks under next to nothing but..The thought of losing him has had me on the verge of tears and had me re-thinking why I exist, and why life has to be so hard..

In 18 years I have lost so many people.. Few family thankfully, but.. Adopted kids, friends, loved ones..

I watched a girl I love take her head clean off.. I watched my other brother get stabbed in the neck by a black male because he wanted his wallet to "survive"

No one seems to care about anything anymore, I mean hell. I try to do good, even though My nickname is the Dark Prince, and yes I uphold that side of myself like the very core of hell itself. But..After so long of being strong, you tend to fall..Even me..

My rage has never been higher, I want to snap and shatter the very core of any being that pisses me off but..I don't, I could..And get away with it..

My depression has never been so strong, to the point I, ME, I thought of how it would be to end my life..But leaving my sisters behind makes that thought as pointless as a gun with no bullets..

I don't know I am just ranting I guess..Ignore this, or message me about it if you wish..

Mike.

P.s. Uneasy has to work for the mood thing, I doubt they have one that explains how I feel..